13 Aug Be. Do. Have… The Secret Formula To Get What You Want In Life
You’re struggling with something right now.
I know… We all are. It’s just different for each of us.
For you, it might be a struggle to find that healthy routine that get’s you the weight loss, fitness, and confidence that you desperately need.
Or it might be getting through all that study to finally get your degree from Uni to take your career and income to the next level.
Or it could be meeting mr/mrs Right. Finding that IDEAL partner that’s perfect for you.
Whatever it is, if it’s a noble cause, it will come with struggle. It just seems to be the way of life.
The good things don’t tend to come easily.
We have to work hard for our success.
That’s where the BE, DO, HAVE Model helps.
I learn’t this when I became a Life Coach. This was one of the strategies we were taught, to not only build up our Coaching practice, but to help our clients progress through their struggles.
Here’s the basis of how BE, DO, HAVE works…
To accomplish something great, we need to break it down into individual steps.
Usually when we come up with a goal, or a dream, or aspire to achieve something great, we jump straight to the 3rd stage, which is HAVE.
We say, “I want to have a toned, slim, sexy body” or “I want to have a lean, strong and muscular build”
In business we might say, “I want to have a multi-million dollar business”
Or “I want to have a degree in xyz with high distinctions”
Or “I want to have a relationship with someone who is fun, healthy, happy, financially secure, and attractive”
Notice these statements are all focused on the “HAVE”.
This is great! But we can’t live in this headspace too long. In order to actually accomplish our goals, we have to go back to the first step of the BE DO HAVE model.
And that’s to ask the first of 3 questions.
The first question we must ask ourselves is “Who do I need to BE (or become) to have that goal?”
And you might not like the answer you get…
You have to get a little bit self-refective here and ask yourself who are you today, versus who you need to become in order to have that thing.
If your goal is to have 10-20% body fat for example, and you currently have 40-50% body fat, you’re currently BEING the person who has 40-50% fat. Who would you need to become, if you were to have 10-20% body fat?
Easy answer is – To have 40-50% body fat, you’d need to be inconsistent with your training and diet, or not do any training or dieting at all. You’d need to not be a “morning person” and stay up late, sleep in, and consume late night calories. You’d need to consume lots of sugar and carbs, and eat lots of take-away, junk food and high calorie beverages. You’d need to avoid tracking your weight.
That’s who you’d need to BE to have 40-50% body fat.
To have 10-20% body fat you would need to be disciplined. You’d need to become someone who prioritises health, fitness and diet. You would need to become someone who has a healthy lifestyle, makes sacrifices, and values health and fitness at a very high level. You’d need to be a morning person, and track your weight and progress.
That’s who you’d need to BE to have 10-20% body fat.
Very interesting question to ask yourself. Not everyone who wants to BE lean and healthy, is prepared to give up the things that hold them back, such as late nights and sleep ins, eating for indulgence and socialising, high calorie desserts, and comfort eating etc.
This causes an internal identity conflict, and sabotages your progress towards your goal.
I often hear people say “I’m not a morning person”. Possibly one of the most effective healthy habits you could take on is to re-train your body to sleep earlier, and wake up earlier.
Well how productive are you from 9pm to whatever time it is that you usually go to sleep?
If you’re up late because you’re powering through UNI work, and on the verge of getting a degree, then that would be productive to your education, but I doubt many people do that. It’s more likely that you’re sitting in front of the TV frying your energy, and over stimulating your brain from the LED backlit screens which throws out your circadian rhythm disrupting your sleep.
If you usually wake up at 8am, but you started waking up at 5am, how productive could you be for those extra 3 hours?
Would you wake up 3 hours early every morning to watch tv on the lounge? I doubt it. If your goal is to get healthier, you’d use that time to workout, plan your meals, and start the day with energy.
The most common practice ultra healthy people have, is waking up early.
The next question is What would you need to DO, to have that thing/goal you want?
The DO is very important. Let’s use the 40-50% body fat example again as it’s probably quite relevant for most people.
If you’re 40-50% body fat, what do you DO to have 40-50% body fat?
And what do you think someone at 10-20% body fat would DO to have 10-20% body fat?
Easy answer is – You would eat a lot of high calorie foods each day to have 40-50% body fat. You wouldn’t exercise consistently, or with the appropriate intensity. You’d often sleep in, and stay up late watching tv, or doing something unrelated to improving health.
That’s what you’d need to DO to have 40-50% body fat.
To have 10-20% body fat you’d need to DO lot’s of training regularly, you’d need to DO lot’s of planning, and organising what you eat each day. You’d need to DO lot’s of research, and investigation work on what it takes to have 10-20% body fat. And you’d need to get to bed early, and wake up early to start your day with energy.
That’s what you’d need to DO to have 10-20% body fat.
When you figure out the first 2 questions around BE and DO, the final HAVE sorts itself out.
You already know what you want to HAVE, it’s just a matter of BECOMING the person that already HAS what you want, and DOING the things that you need to do, to HAVE what you want.
BE. DO. HAVE.
Very powerful piece of information. I hope you take it on board and think about where you’re self-sabotaging, and not BEING who you need to be and DOING what needs to be done.